This video showed up on my Facebook wall yesterday, titled “Men will be Men”. Like I always do, I retaliated by telling the person how irresponsible it is to share and promote such videos that advocate groping and touching without consent. You may argue that it’s a joke, but nevertheless, it’s an extremely tone deaf joke when safety of women on the streets is a very vivid and real struggle for many of us today.
I was so perturbed by the fact that this person had shared this video; I wanted to know that people who had commented on the actual video post itself, were aggravated, at the very least, by such atrocity. Instead, what I found broke my heart and chipped some major chunks off the image of the new-age man I had created in my head.
Obviously, this brought out the “she’s asking for it” argument. This person uses legal terms to describe his emotions:
This other (obviously witty, duh) guy, takes a shot at playing with the title of this video, and comments on how all women just need an excuse to have their “booties” be grabbed by strange men:
It enrages me that all the media around this issue, all the rapes, molestations, all the outcries against these crimes, haven’t driven home the fact that how a person dresses is invitation to NOTHING. It’s not just these two men that feel this way, a majority of them think the woman was asking for it – and honestly, that’s how the director of the video has made the woman out to be – her reactions suggest nothing but fake annoyance, and inward happiness at the attention she’s getting. I don’t know what kind of women exist in his fantasy land, but if that were any other woman in real life, she would’ve cut his balls off. I also don’t know about submissive, infinitely tolerant women being sexually stimulating for some people, but I sure don’t think it should be appearing on the news stream of a major social networking platform. It’s no short of porn or something equally unacceptable in a public forum.
How do men like this survive in a society? What kind of people must he know? What is the assurance that he wouldn’t attack a woman on the streets, assuming that her wearing a short dress is an invitation for him to pull his penis out? Obviously this video is doing nothing to discourage behavior like that! Clothing or the lack of it is not an excuse to touch, makeup is not an excuse to touch, high heels is not an excuse to touch, exposed skin is not an excuse to touch, NOTHING is an excuse to touch. Such men will find an excuse to abuse either ways. If it’s not clothes, it’ll be words, culture, or simply his libido, the most reasonable of them all, of course.
And yet, there are other men, that simply feel enlightened by this video, like it’s a revelation:
The video should be titled “How to create sexual predators”, seriously.
And then, there are those that think it’s an absolute riot to watch a man acting blind to grab a random woman’s ass.
To their defense, there were many people that talked down the video and its content. They reprimanded the owner of the video for advocating sexual predation and abuse of women. But the only one with any power here is the social media platform it was shared on. Facebook has the power to do something about it. So I reported the video.
I chose the options “Harassment” towards “a gender or orientation” when Facebook prompted me. I also thought the options were well thought out and it was exactly what I wanted to report.
Then came the dismay. In about an hour, I get an email from them saying:
They conveniently forgot to mention “Harassment”.
Wow, so basically, promoting sexual violence, non-consensual touching, and trivializing the very important struggle of safety of women on the streets did NOT violate the Community Standards of the largest social network in the world. So I opened up their “Standards” and read through them:
Obviously they think encouraging men to act disabled to grope random women is not a threat to public safety, and obviously they think it’s extremely respectful behavior. So yeah, I can see why it doesn’t violate “THEIR” community standards. But it does violate mine, and the community I have built for myself. It violates my gender, my identity and my belief. It violates my husband and the his daily fight to prove that all men are not shitheads. It violates my co-workers who battle everyday with stereotypes and help make the workplace a better environment. It violates my neighbors and my friends who believe our boys are brought up in a safe environment with the right values passed on to them.
So there Facebook, quite a bit of re-vamping you need to do to your “Community Standards” to make them compliant with the modern world and its struggles.
All the messages I quoted are public. Open up the link in incognito and you’ll still be able to see all the posts that are quoted here. So don’t tell me to black out their names or faces, because quite honestly, they evidently want to be known for their opinions.